Avril Heffernan

Mr Cut-Throat and the adorable Mr Kiss Kiss

Iím sorry to have to say said Mr Cut-Throat 
having assured you
your condition was not of a sinister nature
we now find that you are
indeed sinister
your guts are sick and twisted
unfortunately the disease has spread
to your brain

Sick Woman heard the news
with a sick twisted smile on her face
so that Mr Cut-Throat became alarmed
at the rapid progress of the disease

Youíre not to be afraid, said Mr Cut-Throat
about your guts
you donít really need them
now I come to think of it
isnít there a load of spineless gutless bastards
going around the place

And wouldnít I be glad to put a stop to you
writing to that mad man over in England
behind my back
I ask you 
what would that eejit know about anything?
Isnít he struck off?

Sick Woman looked at Mr Cut-Throat
at the cold twist of his cruel mouth
at the twenty seven feet of his handsome gut
Stay away from my belly she said
You seem to me malign

That's it said Mr Cut-Throat
Iím bringing in the nurse said Mr Cut-Throat
things are getting out of hand around here
and we all need reminding
that you are the sick one

Itís your lack of reverence
said Nurse Donít-Mind-That-Fucking-Bastard
Itís the way you look at him
What did you have to look at him for?

Iím easy said Mr Kiss
and indeed he was possessed
of an easy manner
so that when he caught his head
on the sharp corner of a medicine cabinet
he didnít turn vicious with pain
like most surgeons

Youíre an interesting case
elusive said Mr Kiss
from now on
I want you to stay in one place
I want to look after you

With these words I thee wed, said Sick Woman
so you shall look after me Mr Kiss
all the days of my perilous life

Just kiss me Mr Kiss Kiss

© Avril Heffernan, 2001

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